Dogs Waiting
COSTNER
COSTNER – URGENTLY SEEKING A NEW HOME BEFORE I BECOME A PROBLEM FOR THE LOCAL COUNCIL
OI. YOU LOT. COSTNER HERE.
2 years old. Spayed. Gorgeous as hell.
Currently facing eviction through absolutely no fault of my own.
My human is struggling with their health and, devastatingly, can no longer give me the care I need.
So here I am. On Paws of Hope Facebook, advertising myself like a washing machine on Marketplace.
GOOD CONDITION. WORKS PERFECTLY. SLIGHTLY OBSESSIVE. NO TIMEWASTERS.
DOGS – COMPLICATED.
Never lived with one.
I've encountered them in public but I need to work on my manners
CHILDREN – DEPENDS HOW WELL THEY BOUNCE.
Never lived with the little humans, but I'm generally alright around them.
CATS – AYE, FINE.
I currently live with feline siblings.
TOYS – GIVE ME THE TOYS.
I love toys.
ATTENTION – This is where YOU need to pay attention...
I like attention.
Actually, that's a lie.
I REQUIRE ATTENTION LIKE A NORMAL DOG REQUIRES OXYGEN.
2 years old. Spayed. Cat friendly. Dogs negotiable. Toddlers at risk of accidental demolition. Personal boundaries not included.
DALTON
Right then. Let’s talk about Dalton.
Because apparently Dalton has decided that being **house trained** is a phase she has now grown out of.
And her current favourite hobby?
**HUMPING THE RESIDENT BOY.**
Not occasionally.
Not politely.
Not even with the slightest hint of shame.
So last night, management intervened.
Dalton was separated and slept on the sofa.
Did this encourage her to reconsider her life choices?
Absolutely fucking not.
She proceeded to shit all over the conservatory…
**WITH THE BACK DOOR OPEN.**
Because why would you go outside when you can simply create an indoor toilet?
So, yes… we need to rewind slightly and get this girl **back to basics with her house training.**
BUT — and this is important — Dalton isn't being moved because she's a bad dog.
She's being moved because she needs the **RIGHT HOME**, and quickly.
A home where someone can manage her current behaviour, give her structure, reinforce her toilet training, and deal with the fact that her hormones currently appear to be powered by **pure chaos and questionable intentions.**
DALTON needs;
Someone experienced and sensible
Someone prepared to go back to basics with house training
Someone who understands that consistency is EVERYTHING
Someone who isn't going to expect perfection overnight
Someone prepared for a bit of hard work in exchange for a LOT of personality
Because underneath the chaos, there is a dog who deserves someone willing to understand her and help her get back on track.
EARL GREY
STILL. LOOKING. FOR. A. HOME.
At this point I can only assume one of the Aunts has absolutely sabotaged my marketing campaign because HAVE YOU SEEN ME?!
I’m gorgeous.
I’m 4.
I’m good with kids.
I’m basically a catch.
Yet here I am refreshing the applications like:
WHERE ARE MY PEOPLE?!
Right. Since apparently I need to sell myself harder, here we go.
DOGS
Can I live alone?
ABSOLUTELY.
I have zero issue being the only dog.
I can ALSO live with a neutered male.
KIDS
Babies? Yep.
Toddlers? Yep.
Older kids? Yep.
I’m good with the lot.
STRANGERS
Okay, apparently I need to disclose my one tiny personality quirk.
When I first meet people, I can be a wee bit nervous. So I bark.
Four years old. Beautiful. Slightly suspicious.
GOLDBERG
HAVE YOU SEEN ME?!
WHY AM I MOVING?
Through absolutely no fault of my own.
My current family appear to live in Waverley Station.
Okay, slight exaggeration but I am an introvert... I don't care 5 of your mates are passing every hour, I want peace!
I AM ALSO A SECURITY SYSTEM
Someone comes through the door?
WOOF WOOF.
DOGS
I used to live with a sister.
It was alright but I'm currently used to being an only dog too
CHILDREN
Older ones? Sure.
I’ve lived with them before and I’ve got child friends.
But I’m not looking to move into a house containing seven tiny humans reenacting WWE in the living room while someone plays Baby Shark at full volume.
MY IDEAL LIFESTYLE
Sofa
Bed
Snacks
Cuddles
Walks
Peace
If your house has a revolving door, keep scrolling. Respectfully...
HOPKINS
FOR GOD'S SAKE, SOMEONE ADOPT HOPKINS BEFORE HE STARTS VIEWING FLATS ON RIGHTMOVE
Alright.
Hopkins here.
5 years old.
No balls.
No patience.
Handsome AF.
And I'm looking for a new gaff because my current living arrangements have become untenable.
Why?
My mother had another baby last year.
Fine.
Whatever.
At first it was basically a potato.
It slept.
It drank milk.
It occasionally screamed.
I could work with that.
THEN THE POTATO GREW LEGS.
Now it's moving around the house touching things, making noises and generally behaving like it's paying towards the mortgage.
Absolutely not.
DOGS?
Never lived with one, but I'm friendly.
Could I have a fur sibling? - Potentially.
KIDS?
Older, sensible ones? Yes
Toddlers? GET THEM AWAY FROM ME.
CATS? NO! Feline Ninjas
I. AM. GOING. ON. YOUR. SOFA.
“But we don't allow dogs on the furnit—”
APPLICATION REJECTED.
“But we've bought you a lovely £60 orthopaedic dog b—”
SHOVE IT, JANET.
I'm not spending my retirement lying on the floor staring at you sitting comfortably on a DFS corner unit.
What am I?
A PEASANT?
PACINO
PACINO NEEDS A NEW GAFF
Alright troops, Pacino here.
I’m 1 year old, handsome as sin and currently seeking new accommodation due to a change in my family’s circumstances.
Basically, I'm moving out.
No, I haven't been evicted for antisocial behaviour.
IMPORTANT BUSINESS FIRST — I’M NEUTERED.
DOGS?
Never lived with one, but I LOVE other dogs. I'd happily have a doggy sibling
CHILDREN?
Love them. 10/10.
Excellent little people.
CATS?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
You mean the garden Usain Bolts?
Absolutely not.
A cat appears.
My brain: TARGET ACQUIRED.
Same with birds...
I am simply a young gentleman with:
• enthusiasm
• athletic ability
• limited impulse control
• absolutely no brakes
• the turning circle of a P&O ferry
Sometimes I get excited.
Sometimes I get VERY excited.
Sometimes I'm halfway across the living room before I've actually established why we're running.
MY IDEAL HOME
I'd like humans who enjoy walks, playing, cuddles and having absolutely no idea what's going to happen next.
A doggy sibling? Potentially brilliant.
Children? Absolutely.
Cats? Don't be ridiculous.
NORRIS
👋 Hi hoomans, Norris here! 🐾
I’m 6 years old, castrated, handsome and very much ready to find my forever family. I’m told I’m a “good boy”… although I prefer to think of myself as a distinguished gentleman with excellent ball-chasing credentials. 🎾😎
👶 Children? LOVE them!
Babies, toddlers, big kids… bring them on! I’m happy to live with children from babies upwards. Basically, if you’re small and willing to throw my ball, we’re going to be best friends.
🐶 Other dogs? Absolutely!
I’m a social sort of chap and could happily live with another dog — or even a whole doggy gang! The more friends, the merrier!
🐱 Cats? Yep, I can live with those too.
I’m basically the all-inclusive package. Dogs ✅ Kids ✅ Cats ✅
🎾 My greatest passion in life? MY BALL.
I love my ball. I would like to make it very clear that I am available for cuddles, companionship and family life… but preferably with a ball somewhere nearby at all times. 😂
🚗 Now, about car journeys…
I LOVE going in the car. Maybe a little too much. 🤣
When the engine starts, I become Norris: The Excited Edition™. I get VERY excited and it takes me a little while to calm down.
But eventually, I do settle… probably once I’ve accepted that we’re not immediately going to the ball shop.
💙 So, what am I looking for?
A loving forever home where I can be part of the family, enjoy my walks, play with my ball, make some doggy friends, and get all the love I deserve.
I can live with children, dogs and cats, so frankly… I’m basically interviewing YOU. 😉
All I ask is that you have plenty of love, a comfy sofa, and a willingness to throw a ball approximately 17,000 times a day. 🎾😂
💙 Could you be my forever family?
Love,
Norris 🐾💙
Professional good boy. Part-time car maniac. Full-time ball enthusiast.
LA CAZE
LA CAZE NEEDS HIS FOREVER HOME
La Caze is currently in temporary foster, and his wonderful fosterers are giving us a much better understanding of this gorgeous boy and, more importantly, the type of home where he will truly thrive.
3 years old | Male | Not neutered
Dogs: La Caze is friendly and sociable with other dogs. He is currently living with 3 other dogs in foster, but we feel this environment is a little too busy for him. He would be best suited to a calm female companion or as an only dog, giving him the space and time he needs to properly decompress, and also will hopefully stop the jealousy being shown at times.
Children: La Caze needs a child-free home.
Cats: He has previously lived with a cat and is currently around a cat in foster. He is completely fine with cats.
His people: La Caze will take a few days to come around to his new people and learn to trust them - he has come on leaps and bounds in foster but not to sugar coat it he still has challenges - La Caze new family need to be patient and understanding but also firm with him.
Anxiety: La Caze is quite an anxious boy. He isn't looking for a busy household or somewhere with lots going on. He needs someone who understands that settling into a new home takes time and who will give him quiet, patience and plenty of decompression time.
La Caze isn't asking for the world — just someone who will give him the time and security he needs to realise that he is finally home.
Currently in North Scotland